There are many reasons why we as parents should be interested in nurturing and developing our kids’ problem-solving skills. Sure, there is the immediate or short term benefits, such as, improved school performance, math skill improvements, and even benefits in dealing with social and personal problems as they interact more and more with the outside world. But it goes beyond that. Developing problem-solving skills in children from an early age has many overlooked benefits, especially long-term benefits.
Having a good understanding of how to solve problems and how to apply it in all areas of life improves mental health, decreases chances of depression and suicidal thoughts, facilitates open-mindedness, and enhances decision making and action taking skills.
Problem-Solving Process
There are many great resources that go in-depth to the problem-solving process/framework. Most boil down to these high-level steps we need to teach our children to solve a problem:
- Identify the problem
- Identify solutions
- Identify Pros/Cons of each solution
- Pick a solution
These are fundamental and essential processes for problem-solving, but the real challenge is how to teach our kids these steps in everyday scenarios in a way they’d enjoy and truly understand to re-apply later.
There are, of course, a lot of game, puzzles, and activities that help improve these skills, and we encourage everyone to use them. But we wanted to write this post to go a little deeper. To know that there is more we can do to help our children grow and develop than to buy the latest games or show them new videos and puzzles.
One tactic is to take advantage of the sponge brains our kids have. While children are growing up, they are absorbing and learning from everything they observe, so it is important that they see us applying these problem solving steps in everyday situations and talked through the process to understand why it’s important.
Here are 5 ways we can make sure we are showing them how to develop natural problem-solving skills:
1. Explore alternatives to language
Our kids might have a hard time explaining things like their feelings, anecdotes, and people’s characteristics. They are still learning words and how to express themselves. In those situations, let them think. Help your child calm down and help him or her find an alternative way to explain what they are trying to say. For example, they might find it easier to draw a picture of the situation, or talk about similar situations where they saw the same thing happen. Either way, the key is to help our child look through solutions and alternatives to express themselves, and to make it clear that there is always a better suited solution to their specific problem and circumstance.
2. Narrate what’s happening
Whenever your are playing or solving a puzzle, ask your child to narrate what is happening. Encourage them to contribute to the story. As they are narrating back to you, encourage them and challenge them to also think about why a certain thing is being done, or how it impacts other parts of the story. This will help them see the bigger picture, look at all things affecting the game, and forecast the outcome.
Do you see how this translates into problem-solving at a larger scale? In life, personal or professional, we always need to see how each option/decision/action is affecting the bigger picture and imagine what the outcome might be. For example, when deciding to buy a house, the best decisions are made when we analyze options within our budget, or what it would look like to have monthly payments of X, Y, and Z, and how it will affect other financial aspects of our lives. This type of big picture, more abstract thinking can be made easier if we start early on.
3. Make it real and step back
Our kids encounter problems every day. Problems that we might not even perceive as problems, but to our child’s eyes, well, maybe they are. Did they lose their ball underneath the counter? Step back and let them think. Let them find a way they could be able to get it back. Ask them to tell you possible solutions to get their ball back. Then you can step in and walk them through the pros and cons of each solution and how each solution will be performed. Most kids are used to having other people solve their problems. We know we all love our children and we naturally want to give them everything, but we should think more carefully how our actions impact our kids’ character long term. Never just provide the answer for them, but rather have a brainstorming and analytical session like we discussed above. Which takes us to our next point.
4. Brainstorm and Involve
Let’s involve our children in the easy everyday decisions we make. Let them explore the possible options we have and the thought-process we went through to make a decision. For example, what movie should we watch? Where should we go play today? What should we have for lunch? Invite them to be fluent thinkers by asking them to respond to questions that have many right answers. Involving kids in easy, family decisions like these makes them feel respected and part of the team. Naturally, they will begin thinking hard to contribute thoughtful decisions.
5. Play the “answer with a question” game
Have you ever played the game where you can only answer with another question? It’s hard, right? But we think our children can greatly benefit from answering their own questions if we send it back to them on a simpler version. For example, when our kids ask things like “where does the water we drink come from?”, we can answer by saying “where do you usually see water?”. Do you follow? Our children are always full or questions, so letting themselves get to an answer is the best way to improve their problem-solving skills. In many aspects of life, the deeper and more meaningful questions we ask about a subject to drill down on it, the more information we gather and the better our results from our decisions.
Take Action Now!
The earlier you get started, the better your kid will get at problem solving from an earlier age. Use these 5 tips to help your kids problem-solving skills in easy everyday situations. We encourage you to also use games and puzzles as these can go hand in hand with our purpose, but never underestimate the power of everyday situations and how we approach them in front of our children.
Remember, the best leaders and success stories come from people who are aware of their surroundings, help their community, and solve simple problems people may not even know they had.
Let’s wrap things up, shall we?
If there is one thing we want you to take away from this post, it is to always use simple situations to help your children develop problem-solving skills. Encourage them to think outside the box, to brainstorm possible solutions, to find alternative ways to say and do things, to narrate what’s happening and to answer their own questions.
It might seem like little things, but these are the little things that will make big differences in our children’s lives.
Resources
Morin, Amy. “How to Teach Kids Problem-Solving Skills.” Very Well Family, February 08, 2018, https://www.verywellfamily.com/teach-kids-problem-solving-skills-1095015
Booth Church, Ellen. “How You Can Help Children Solve Problems.” Scholastic, https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/articles/teaching-content/how-you-can-help-children-solve-problems/